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What Six Months of Marriage Has Taught Me

Is it even remotely possible that it has already been 6 months since the day I stepped into my dream dress and took the long and exciting walk down a beautifully decorated aisle towards my extremely handsome (and crying!!) husband? Someone please explain this to me!

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The past 6 months has been an exciting yet frightening time of learning, adjusting and growing on both of our parts. We chose to save certain privileges for after marriage and lived separately until we got back from our honeymoon; so you can imagine the shock and adjustment to follow as two individual lives began to mold together to form a beautiful and God-designed marriage.

Our wedding was beautiful! The morning (and all the way up until 5 minutes prior to pictures) there was a,  as I like to describe it, “monsoon” raging in typical Florida-fashion. However, in typical God-fashion, the rain ceased at the perfect time and allowed us to enjoy our picture perfect outdoor ceremony and reception with not another drop to follow!

We left the next morning for the breathtaking island of St. Thomas where we snorkeled every day and relaxed by the pool every night. It was hands down one of the best vacations I have ever taken (and I’ve had the privilege to enjoy many beautiful places over the years!).

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Two weeks prior to our wedding I was forced to move out of my condo due to a growing mold issue- thank you, shower leak! The Lord blessed us with a larger and stunning apartment that would soon become our home!

Upon our return from the Islands, reality hit. The mountain of unpacking would need to be climbed – and would also need to be climbed quickly as work was beginning to breathe down our necks!

My husband and I are very much in love, yet it seemed as though our individual personalities quickly began to rub each other wrong in even the simplest of ways. Honestly, we should have expected the bumps in the road as we were,  in reality, two totally different people with two totally different personalities trying to live one life. Expectations were broken, hopes were dashed and words do,  in fact,  hurt.

Reality struck! We found ourselves in a sort of beautiful chaos. So much in love, yet so much in shock.

During our ceremony we chose to complete the unity braid. Ecclesiastes says “a three stranded cord is not easily broken”. The first strand represents Trent as the husband, the second represents me as the wife,  and the third represents God as our leader.

As the wedding preparations took top priority in the weeks leading up to the ceremony, we never made time to practice braiding the cords together. Let me just say- we were in for a real shock as we stood before all of our family and friends and attempted to braid our cord! There was panic, laughter, communication, and a little guidance from our pastor!

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As I reflect on the braid and the journey we embarked on to complete it, I am reminded of the incredible similarities it has with marriage. You begin not having a clue as to what you’re doing. It’s great in theory, but you’ve never practiced and you surely don’t have it all figured out!

 

Eventually you find your groove!  You reach out for guidance, you begin to communicate in a more efficient manner, and instead of sweating the small stuff, you begin to laugh at it! What started as somewhat of a disaster turns into the beautiful masterpiece it was designed to be.

It takes time and patience to arrive at this place. For some, the journey is smoother and maybe even somewhat shorter, and for others the journey is longer and slightly more daunting.

Trent and I have resolved that leaving is not, and will never be, an option. You can’t embark on the beautiful journey of marriage with the preconceived expectation that it will be  okay to quit when one of you gets tired!

Six months of holding the title of “wife” has taught me an incredible amount about the importance of true sacrifice, the reality of struggles, and the support of a life long partner and friend. It has taught me to lower my expectations to what is reasonable and that my happiness is not found in my husband alone. My Heavenly Father is the only One who has the ability to satisfy my every need and desire completely, so it is vitally important that my relationship with Him comes first!

To all of you single folk reading this thinking “that’s not what I expected to hear”, let me be the first to tell you that marriage rocks! It’s by far the most rewarding,  and additionally the hardest thing,  you will ever do!  And just like our unity braid,  it’s a little (…okay, a lot!!), rough at the beginning. Fortunately, our journey is not over.  We have a lifetime left to work with each other to make it even more beautiful than it is today.

As I said in my vows six months ago today, “I loved you yesterday, I love you today and I can’t wait to love you forever!”

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2 thoughts on “What Six Months of Marriage Has Taught Me

  1. That was a simply magical day and like that day you will have magical times in your marriage. But marriage is filled with reality and reality is real. Profound I know, but remember to look at each other as real people who each have real feelings and thoughts and put those above your own and you will always make it thru the storm. Your father and I vowed never to use the D word and it has helped us fight for EACH OTHER rather than just for OURSELVES ! Love you!

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  2. I can’t believe it’s been 6 months already. On one hand it seems like just yesterday and on the other it seems like forever ago. What you said is all so true. It’s good that you both realize that the bumps are just opportunities for you to learn, change and grow together as one. Keep walking together and with God and never give up. Enjoy the journey and all that it has to offer. Love you!

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